Gentle is Allowed

While I'm sitting in the doctor's office again trying to find a solution to my reoccurring issue, I'm thinking how exhausted and frustrated I am, there must be help somewhere. I am not a doctor, but I knew my teeth grinding, Gastrointestinal issues, abnormal menstrual cycles and muscle tension could not be normal.  My whole life the doctors kept telling me there was nothing wrong, but why did I feel so horrible. Along with the doctors telling me nothing was wrong I also went to numerous counselors and took different anti-depressants which didn’t alleviate any issues I was having. I also knew ruminating, Catastrophizing, anxiety and depression could not be normal. Now I was in search of relief.     

I had to figure something out to improve my wellness.  In my 40’s I started to do research and found an older therapist in town that had a physical technique that I had never heard of.  First, we did some counseling about my stress and then I would pound the couch directly after, in the office.  After just one session not only did, I noticed a change in my thoughts, I felt calmer after the session. No medicine and I felt the best I have ever felt. At this point, I knew inner peace was possible, yet I needed to do it more than once a week with a copay.  I needed more and knew this was going to change my life therefore I had to figure out a way to incorporate this on my own. 

I stumbled across, The crappy childhood fairy, site and learned how to journal “I fear” with my emotions, then I added my body to my journaling “I fear” which helped my body feel heard. Journaling allowed me to release my stress through my emotions and my body.  Writing out my fears shrinks them when they’re exposed to logic. The nervous system learns this is uncomfortable, not dangerous. Using “I fear” in my emotions and my body has brought out things that have been stuck in me my whole life, but it also has released daily stress. It will help any way you want; you are in charge. This took me soaring, not only can I do the technique anytime I wanted but I could do it in the privacy of my own home without a copay.  

I added a scale to my routine because seeing the progress of lowering the scale has helped me keep track of my stress and notice progress.  I try to bring my stress down to 0 and I notice I feel a lot better.  This measurement helps the brain feel safe and moves from overwhelming emotion into thinking.  I have been doing this routine for many years and I need to share it because I know it can help decrease stress, ruminating, anxiety, chronic muscle tension, lowers cortisol, body aches and pelvic floor softens, digestion/Gastrointestinal issues decrease and so many more but no matter what your shoulders drop and you feel safe and calm again or for the first time in your life.  Moving stress through me has helped me breathe. Here is a rundown of my routine.

I start with my top stress; I look for the thing that is going on repeatedly in my mind. What is really the one thing putting me into stress. It could be something happening this week for example: your job-decisions or conflict. It could be something that has been stressing you your whole life for example childhood chaos, abuse or lack of self esteem. I describe it in one sentence which makes it easier for me to understand and focus on.

THE TWO WEEK TWEAK- For two weeks I pay attention to this stressor. Notice how it’s in my life- my thoughts, feelings and body sensations daily. Then twice a week I do these three steps that only take 20 mins. Not only does it organize my thoughts about this stressor, but it will diminish the effect it has on my mind and body.

THE STRESS COMPLETION ROUTINE-

1. SCALE IT- I notice my body when I think about my stressor, where does it fall on a 1–10 scale?   1 is calm. 10 is intense.

1. JOURNAL IT- I grab a notebook and set a timer for 20 minutes. Write the words “I fear…” repeatedly without stopping.  Even if I repeat myself or don’t know what to say, I keep writing until the timer ends.  If it’s a body ache, then I write “my (insert aching body part) aches and it fears…”

I fear… I fear… I fear…

It fears… It fears… It fears…

3.      POUND IT- I go to the couch and raise my arms overhead with clenched fists letting my arms come down with force. I pound the couch repeatedly until my body naturally slows. I’ve found that for me, yelling or making noise while I pound the couch it helps release stored tension.

I repeat the process trying to get my stressor down to 0. Fight/flight chemicals need movement to discharge and if you don’t move it your body will store it.  Be mindful to notice if your body does a release. For example, my release is yawning, it could be a deep sigh, shaking or crying. It could be different for everybody.  This process has reduced my stress in my daily life and has reduced my chronic stress from childhood sexual abuse, physical abuse and chronic trauma.

Inner peace is possible

 With Love,

Jacque

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Innerpeacethroughwellness@gmail.com